last man standing

In a real dark night of the soul, it is always three o'clock in the morning, day after day. The darkest hour is before the dawn, but what if the sunrise is clouded by heavy clouds that make it meaningless ? Hope. And time. Thats what alienates the loosers from winners. Why should the person who gave his best should loose out ? And when he does, why do people tell him, "Better luck next time ?". I refuse to take it. Why not a better luck this time? Is my life so trifle as to be controled by these depressing words.

“I start to feel like I can’t maintain the facade any longer, that
I may just start to show through. And I wish I knew what was wrong. Maybe
something about how stupid my whole life is. I don’t know. Why does the rest of
the world put up with the hypocrisy, the need to put a happy face on sorrow, the
need to keep on keeping on?... I don’t know the answer, I know only that I
can’t. I don't want any more vicissitudes, I don't want any more of this try,
try again stuff. I just want out. I’ve had it. I am so tired. I am twenty and I
am already exhausted.”

If you board the wrong train, it is no use running along the corridor in the other direction. How could it be possible I made the wrong decision so early in my life ? Relationships are like glass. Sometimes it's better to leave them broken than try to hurt yourself putting it back together. This, I learnt the hard way. By bleeding myself in trying to put it back together.

There are no happy times. Just delusions of absence of sadness. We may feel we will get someday what we deserve,and keep running, till we run out of steam and expect another life for running. Lets stop running. Time to take what was yours. What you think was bad, is not, maybe. The world taught you the good and the bad. The right and the wrong. Now, Its time to fight the world, so the rules of this world go right out the window.

Welcome to the world where the only sensible way to live is to live without rules.